I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize