did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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