I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm lost and stupid without you.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize