Cold hands, warm shart.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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