Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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