just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Randomize