My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
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Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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