I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
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I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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