Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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