so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
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Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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