That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
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you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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