Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize