Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
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I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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