yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
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I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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Are we still banned from the library?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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