eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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