Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
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You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
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I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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