im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
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As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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