he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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