I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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