1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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