Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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