K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize