i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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