Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize