someone threw a dead crab at me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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