Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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