Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize