I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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