Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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