Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
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