You can't motorboat a personality
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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