And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize