So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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