so that wasnt chicken after all
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize