If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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