Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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