He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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