i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If that was your dad, he is hot
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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