Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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