So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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