Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize