I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
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I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
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Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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