My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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