i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize