you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize