He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you made out with another girl for some wings
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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