from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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