Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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