Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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