living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize